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Not quite a year [16 Mar 2005|10:52am]
Ha! I just happened to randomly think today, "I should post", and it means that it's been less than a year since my last post. OK, so only by a day, but that's not the point!

I don't have cable TV at home. I've told several people that lately, and it's amazing the reactions I get. Mostly slack-jawed stares while their brain tries to figure out (usually unsuccessfully) what life looks like when there is no cable TV. One person even asked "What do you do?" Often the reaction is followed by, "well, at least you have internet, right?" And the answer to that is no. I have a wireless card in my computer. Sometimes I can pick up on a stray signal, sometimes I can't, so I don't have a reliable internet connection.

I'm a technophile. I love gadgets and computers and the internet and all those things. But I get enough of that at work most of the time. I like to have my home life be separate and different than my work life. Not because work is bad, but I get 8-9 hours of it a day, why would I want more when I get home? So my life at home is much more about being with people (usually Louise and her family) than it is about technology. But apparently that makes me weird.

It wasn't that long ago that none of these things existed. But there will be the day in my lifetime when there is no one alive who didn't know TV from the day they were born. What will the world be like then?
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[17 Mar 2004|01:12pm]
This morning I found out that my sister's mother in law was diagnosed with two cancers, one in her lungs, one in her liver. She isn't given long to live. "My sister's mother in law" may not sound like much in terms of emotional connection, but she really is an awesome person, and a great mother in law to my sister and I've always loved her attitude and sense of humor and felt close to her. It's so sad to hear of her illness, and I don't really know what to make of it.

Needless to say, she is reorganizing her life. Years ago they moved to Oregon to "get away from LA", and now they are planning an almost instant move down to LA to be near their children and siblings. She was running a business and literally got home from the doctors and threw all the paperwork away for the business and will be giving it away. Not worth worrying about.

It will be nice to have her close again, for as long as that lasts. I look forward to her sense of humor, including the ability to look death in the eye and laugh. (She said that when she called to give the news, she was tempted to say "OK, everyone who still has a mother, stand up. Scott, sit down.")

She'll be missed, but she's not gone yet.
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My First Time [18 Nov 2003|10:20am]
Today was my first real job interview ever (sort of, it was a phone interview). And for those that don't know me, I have a PhD, I've held several jobs in my life. I've just never been interviewed before. Up until now (miraculously), my resume and references have been enough for someone to hire me. Of course, they all knew that I was being hired for limited time positions, so there wasn't much to lose. All the jobs I've had, I got through e-mail.

Overall I don' think the conversation went well. I got rather flustered on the question "what areas of technology do you want to work with?" Quite frankly, the job that I am being interviewed for is, of those I've applied for, the one I'm least qualified for (leave it to HR departments to do that, right?) and least excited about. So that question was hard to answer and still stay within the realm of the possible job. Another one that got me (since I'm applying for a job that involves RF antenna design) is "what RF experience do you have?" to which the only answer that would be wholly truthful would have been "What RF experience?" I fudged and mentioned how the electronics I've used in the past have been sensitive to RF noise. Since I was talking to HR, I think that worked. I did admit, though, that I had very little RF experience, but would be willing to learn.

So I know that for the next interview, I need to be a bit more prepared, say 'um' a few less times, and hopefully be interviewing for a job I really want.
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[09 Oct 2003|04:01pm]
I leave New Zealand just 9 days from today. It's hard to believe that I've been here over a year now, but I have.

It's odd to live somewhere like this, so far away, and know that there is very little chance that I'll ever come back. I have invested a year of my life, perhaps only for the memories. This isn't a bad thing, it's just different. In other cases, I've moved to new places and done new things, but never so far away that there wasn't the (easy) possibility of going back there and continuing. And in most cases, one or two friends followed me (or I followed them?) and so there as a connectivity between events.

Here there is nothing. I'll leave this place, and leave behind pretty much everything I knew here. I'll keep in touch with a few people via e-mail. probably only a few times a year at best (this is realistic given me and the people I'm dealing with.)

I've loved New Zealand, both the country and the people that I've met here. I'm very sad to leave it. I look forward to being home and seeing family and friends, but I don't want my year-long "vacation" to end. When I go back, I have to get a job. A real one. That has probably two weeks of vacation that don't start accruing until I've been there a while. Yuck. I've taken off about 6 weeks in the year I've been here. It's been great. Perhaps I can find a job where I rely only on my income for 11 months of it, and where they'll let me take unpaid holidays. But those are two things that will probably never coincide. What company gives frequent unpaid holidays and who doesn't want that extra month of income?

I'm interested to see where my life goes. I have no job right now, just people willing to take care of me until I do. I'm trying to stay in San Diego, but the job market there is dim, so it will be a struggle. Where will I be in a year, and what will I be doing? I haven't a clue.
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The Ultimate Geek [13 May 2003|12:10pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Yesterday I did something that qualifies me to be in the running for the ultimate geek.

I was sitting at the computer, waiting for it to finish taking data. So I picked up a book and started reading.

When I got to the end of the page, I moved my hand out from behind the book, and reached up to the keyboard to press "Page down".

Needless to say, that didn't work.

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Life in New Zealand [28 Jan 2003|01:33pm]
[ mood | Serene ]

I guess I haven't updated anything in quite a while here, too rapidly approaching a year before that last entry. But sometimes I just need to be inspired to write, and I wasn't until I wanted to write that.

Things in life are great. I live in New Zealand. I've been travelling all over the place, and have had a chance to fly through fjords, go glacier climbing, jet boating, paragliding. I've seen rare birds and plants and animals. I've seen glow-worm caves that astound the imagination. I've dug my own hot-spring at low tide on the beach. And I've only been here four months. I have 8 more to go. Of course, many of those will be cold, and I probably won't do as much, but I've done a lot already, and I look forward to more!

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Healing [28 Jan 2003|01:28pm]
[ mood | Living ]

Yesterday (US time) was two years after Marie broke up with me. The woman I had expected to marry. I scroll down and look at some of the not-so-happy posts about it, and they all seem so far away. Two years really isn't all that much, but in that time, I have gotten completely over her. It took a lot of work, and at times I didn't think I could, but I did. And now I can move on in my life without having her hold me back. In fact, we e-mail occasionally on a friendly basis, and it doesn't cause any hurt whatsoever.

I'm proud of myself for this accomplishment. It shows how much I've matured over the years. I remember how long it took me to get completely over my girlfriend from high school (about 5 years), and that relationship only lasted a year. And I still have a great affection for Marie, and all the people who have touched my life in that way. I always will, and that's another thing I like about myself.

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Net Worth [02 Jul 2002|11:39am]
My net worth decreased last month for the first time in a long time. Guess my relationship is going well. =)
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They live on.... [02 Jul 2002|11:33am]
Last night I was talking to Louise on the phone. We were talking about memories, and more specifically, some of the memories that I have of my grandparents. I've shared a lot of those memories with her. My grandparents have long since passed away, but I love all those memories I have.

She told me that when I talk about them, she forgets that they have passed away, and when I mention it, it surprises her. She says that she can still imagine them travelling around the country, meeting new people, and learning new card games. I broke down in tears when she said that. It makes me so incredibly happy to know that my grandparents who I love so much can live in someone else's mind because of the stories I tell.

Louise just has a way of saying these kind of things. It's one of the reasons I love to be around her.
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Delicious [15 Jun 2002|02:36pm]
[ mood | ecstatic ]

Last night I got one of the best compliments ever. My first kiss with Louise resulted in:

"That was one of the most delicious kisses I've ever gotten."


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Grin. Argh! Grin. Argh! [14 Jun 2002|03:49am]
So what's up with this?

Louise was here until 3:15. She got here at about 7:30. We played games and talked. We took a walk and talked. About everything and nothing. About our lives, our faith, our past, our future, our dreams, our weaknesses. We smiled at each other and even stared in each other's eyes a little (as much as one can safely do while still not being in a relationship.)

She makes me so happy. So incredibly happy.

And frustrated at the same time. I asked her tonight what she was afraid of. She said of getting attached when there's only two months. Who can blame her? But it doesn't make it any easier on me. And so, I will continue to spend time with her, and continue to fall more and more for her. And at the end, I'll hurt. But as I told her tonight, the only reason it hurts when it's gone is that there was something good there to begin with, and I'll take that any day.
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In other news [08 Jun 2002|11:31pm]
New toy.
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[08 Jun 2002|11:22pm]
The woes of love.Collapse )
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[06 Jun 2002|08:08am]
Life continues on, even when you're not ready for it.

Alejandro left this morning. He was one of my best friends in San Diego, and when he moves back, I won't be his roommate anymore. I dropped him off for the airport shuttle a half an hour ago. When I got back, I started crying.

And then there is Louise. Someone shoot me for being so stupid and scared. She was here last night for hours and we talked and talked and talked. There is obviously something going on, and I can't get myself to act on it beyond just continuing to hang out with her. And I look ahead, and I'm so scared of missing her when I leave. I want more, but I'm scared of it, too.

At least my thesis isn't proving too stressful. I have enough stress right now with everything else that is going on, thank you.
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[30 May 2002|11:21am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

Louise called me this morning for basically no reason. =) Ostensibly it was to thank me for making dinner last night, but she could have told me that later today when she saw me. I think she just wanted to talk to me, which makes me REALLY happy!!!!!!!!!!!!! So I invited her to lunch tomorrow. =) =) =) =)

Now I have to see if I can still get any work done....

Louise..... Louise ...... work ..... Louise .... Louise ... wor ... Louise ... Louise ... wo .... Louise ...... Louise ..... Louise ..... w .... Louise ..... Louise .... Louise .... Louise ..... Louise .... Louise ..... Louise ....

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FYI [28 May 2002|09:57am]
Just so y'all know, it's really hard to try and write a thesis, when all you can do is daydream about a girl. =)
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Results. [28 May 2002|12:34am]
Slightly indeterminate, however definitely on the side of good to very good.
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Motion [27 May 2002|12:54pm]
Meeting her at 4.

Fingers tingle.

Stomach churning.

This is supposed to be fun, right? =)
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The Plan [27 May 2002|09:21am]
OK, here's the Plan.

My friends should be leaving early this afternoon.

I'll call Louise and see if she has time for coffee or juice or something.

I'll tell her how I feel.

The only problem here is that I got this inkling yesterday that this other guy is also chasing her affections and I'm generally rather loathe to try and interfere in the middle of things like that. But countering that is the fact that I know if I don't try, I'll regret it, and no matter her answer, there's very little chance I'll regret trying. So, that wins, even in the face of stomach churning fear.
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The cat has escaped from the bag [26 May 2002|01:27am]
So I'm at the Catholic Community dance tonight (which Louise couldn't make it to), and I'm talking with one of Louise's best friends. She has a huge crush on someone, so we were talking about that, and she turned to me and said, "So, what about you? Do you have any crushes?"

What do you say? She's one of her best friends, and you expect that it will probably get back to her if you say something.

I tried to brush her off, but she's, well, persistent, and she did finally get it out of me.

She's really excited about this. She didn't say anything directly about whether Louise feels anything in return, but I didn't ask.

So I think my time is now limited if I want to be the one to say something.

All things happen for a reason, no?

(twitches nervously, with a huge grin on his face)
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